Another Reason to Hate VH1

A big trend lately is Lists.

"Top 10 Greatest Movie Villains"

"Top 50 Greatest Albums of All Time"

and, of course, "VH1's Greatest One-Hit Wonders".

You've heard me go off on One-Hit Wonders before and how there were way more in the '90s than '80s.

This time I will be removing some bands from this classification or at least educating you on the shortcomings of the VH1 staff (who only know how to make reality TV these days).

Nothing Compares 2 U - Sinead O'Conner

Was this Sinead's only hit? Yes. It hit #1 in 1990 and overshadowed her career. Of course she also got a little nutty, Prince threw her out of his moving limo, she ripped up the Pope's picture on SNL, she became a priest. BUT she had some great music. The album this song came off of, I Do Not Want What I Haven't Got, had some great songs on it. Her debut album, The Lion and the Cobra, is one of the greatest alternative albums of the 1980s. Anyone who listened to college radio or kept up with post-punk-new-wave-whatever had this album. Some of great songs: Mandinka, I Want Your (Hands on Me) and Troy. Go listen to Troy right after you read this post. Really loud.

A-Ha - Take On Me

This was, without a doubt, one of the greatest videos of all time and it was a huge hit back in 1985. But they had two other songs that were realeased and had moderate airplay; "Hunting High & Low" and "The Sun Always Shines on TV." I remember the album being pretty decent. They remain the only memorable rock band that hailed from Norway.

Crash Test Dummies - Mmm, Mmm, Mmm

No one really heard a voice like this guy when they came out with this song. Somehow it worked.However, these guys put out some good music after that song. They were spotty, album-wise, but I can list a handful of great songs they did: Superman Song, Afternoons and Coffee Spoons and a cool cover of XTC's Ballad of Peter Pumpkinhead.

The Cardigans - Love Fool

They also had a few songs that had airplay; My Favorite Game and Erase/Rewind. But the coolest song they ever did was a cover of

The Talking Heads' Burning Down the House with Tom Jones. Sounds crazy but it is totally awesome. You can't knock Tom Jones. He took down Martians.

Big Country - In a Big Country

Big strike against them: their song contains their name. Double whammy.
Despite this song being so big, the album it came from was actually a really good record. The Crossing also contained Fields of Fire, which was a moderate hit.
They had another record, Peace in Our Time, which was an all around great album. Not a bad song on it.

Devo - Whip It

This is probably the biggest travesty on this retarded list. Devo is one the greatest pioneering bands ever. Those who write them off as a OHW shouldn't be able to give their opinion.
They had one of the greatest covers of all time. Satisfaction.
Let's not forget their classics Freedom of Choice, Beautiful World, Girl You Want and Jocko Homo.
Not bad for a bunch of guys from Akron, Ohio.

The Verve - Bittersweet Symphony

This was a very big hit. Do you know anyone who doesn't like this song?

The Rolling Stones maybe? The orchestra sample that runs through this song is lifted from their 1965 track "The Last Time." Long story short: The Stones sued them and Jagger and Richards are now credited as 100% songwriters. The Verve didn't make a cent on this song even though they wrote all the lyrics and accompanying music to the piece and negotiated to sample the music before they recorded. Jagger and Richards felt they over did it once they saw the song become a big hit. This is similar to what Queen did to Vanilla Ice for swiping "Under Pressure" for "Ice Ice Baby". The difference being he never got permission of any kind from the band.

They did have another hit on Urban Hymns; Luck Man. Great song. I just heard it while watching "Marley & Me." At least Jagger and Richards won't get any money from that.

The Waitresses - I Know What Boys Like

Not one of my favorites on this list but I have to point out that they have one of the most popular Christmas songs of the last 20-something years, Christmas Wrapping.
Admit it. You like that song.

Metal Stuff
I was never a big metal fan but I have a lot of friends who are and to be honest it's really grown on me over the last couple years. Nostalgia? I don't know.

Twisted Sister - We're Not Gonna Take It

They also had "I Wanna Rock". Both videos featured the Niedermeyer guy from Animal House. That alone makes them cool. Speaking of cool. Notice the one guy in the band who said "Fuck it. I'm not putting on the makeup. I'm just wearing shades and a goatee." Right on.

Ratt - Round & Round

Lay It Down was pretty big as well. They also had Back For More, You're In Love and Wanted Man.
I feel dirty for knowing these songs. Must Shower.

Quiet Riot - Cum On Feel The Noise

This was the first heavy metal song to make Billboards Top 5. The album, Metal Health, hit #1. I think I was one of the only kids to NOT have this thing on vinyl. The title track was a big hit as well.

I remember kids wearing that retarded mask from the album cover at halloween.

So there you have it. Yet another reason to hate VH1. They can shove all their lists up their asses. While they're at it they can also take their reality shows and every "I Love the..." bullshit show. The last good thing they did was Popup Video. At least they showed MUSIC videos with that. They just brought back "Behind The Music." But who wants to watch that when it covers Kanye West and Jay-Z. Those episodes should be retitled "Behind the Guys Who Talk Over Music."

-Darth Taco