Comic-Oh, Come On!

Comic-con

I'm a nerd. Let's just get that out of the way.
I write for this site. You have to be a nerd to some extent in order to contribute to this site. Unless you're Dirty Darril, he's just a vile misanthrope.

So Comic-Con was this weekend in San Diego. For those of you who don't know what Comic-Con is it's an annual convention for the comic book industry to promote the upcoming books and projects that will be coming up in the next year. It's been going on for the last 40 something years.

Of course, Hollywood has hijacked Comic-Con to promote it's new movies because they can't come up with an original good idea themselves. It seems like 70 percent of the movies coming out these days are based on comics. The rest are raping novels, old TV shows, and toys.

So, what's the big news at Comic-Con this year? What great books are coming out? Is James Cameron going to show us scenes from his movie he's taken 15 years to make? Is there an Iron Man 2 trailer? Is there really going to be a Captain America movie?

Who cares?
I just want to see the dorks in costumes!

For starters, fat people in bad costumes are always fun. Lose some weight or stick to characters that better fit your body type. i.e., Jabba the Hut, Kingpin, the Blob, or the Rancor Keeper.

Dignity? What's that?
Don't mess with this guy. He'll charge that Subway cup and hurl it at you!

I think people are going to eventually make the connection when Bruce Wayne starts showing up to board meetings wearing XXL Armani suits.

Look at that color scheme? Coincidence? FedEx Kinko's has a new spokesman: Fat Skeletor!

OK. I get it. Tiny from Battle of the Planets. I'm pretty sure he didn't wear flip-flops though.
Keyop may have. But I'm pretty sure that dude was retarded.

I'm not going to make fun of the chubby chick dressed as Silk Spectre with the digital watch. Or Juan Valdez as The Comedian. WTF is going on with Rorschach's mask? Is that a dirty napkin? Fuck. F for effort.

God damn it! We Star Wars fans have it hard enough. Do we really have to have these douche-bags hanging around?
The worst part? That dude has piercings.

Why is the Joker holding a lightsaber?
Oh, and Jamal, get some contacts.

Use the force...
to file my taxes.

Everyone knows that the Jedi had a great Optical insurance plan.
Why do so many Jedi at the convention have glasses?
They spent $100+ on their Force-FX Lightsabers.

Not to leave out the Star Trek dorks. Let's wrap a codpiece on your head, put on BMX padding (size: child) and glue the guts of your Texas Instruments calculator to your chest. Oh, and the knee-pads? ASSimilate. Resistance is futile.

-Darth