Plop Plop Fizz Fizz - A Review of Alka Seltzer

I worked at 7-11, the midnight shift. Sometimes there would be hours that i did not see a single soul. So I did what any 19 year old male would do. I looked at the porn mags. So I'm reading Penthouse Forum one night about how to please your woman in extraordinary ways.
Wow! I think the man who wrote this article is a genius when I run across the Alka-Seltzer move.

If you really want to turn your woman on take a tablet of Alka-Seltzer, the yellow box that contains no aspirin so as not to irritate the vaginal walls. (not that the vaginal walls don't cause the world enough irritation, but that's next week) Insert into the vagina while you're into your foreplay time.



So I am with my girlfriend and we are becoming heated. We are 19 remember, so I am going to show her I am the man. After some heavy petting and lots of sweat and saliva I insert this tablet into her. Waiting for the expected oooo's and ahhh's and you are the man god above god's the fizz from the tablet takes over and like a gigantic erupting creampie that has been catapulted from within her.

*pfffpffpffpffpffpfffpfffffpffffff*

I explode into gut wrenching laughter as her pussy lips start to flutter back and forth while emitting the loudest burst of pussy air ever built up. (later in life I found a new meaning of "air", but that might be a later story) Her lips keep fluttering like a butterfly's wings after sitting on a big rock of meth, except this butterfly is becoming a fountain of fluid and bubbles.

To the horror of my rib cage, the laughing grew harder as i saw the foamy bubbles spewing from her twat like the time Peter put to much soap in the washing machine on the Brady Bunch. This got increasingly worse with sounds so funny Howard Stern would kill to have them for sound bytes. It slowly fizzes out to become this melting bubbly oozing stream of bubbles running down her thigh and into the crack of her ass.

She is not finding this even close to funny. Matter of fact, the more I laughed, the more she cried. Which in return, the more she cried, the more I laughed.

This actually led to me not getting any pussy that night, or that weekend.

So I'm sitting back at work reading Penthouse Forum again and the follow up to what i had previously read says "be sure to only use 1/4 of a tablet, due to over gas expulsion".

I had to buy flowers and say those words......

I'm sorry baby, but it was funny right?

Doghouse again.

--- Dirty Darril