Eat This Not That, You Friggin' Idiot

Come on people do you really need a book that tells you not to eat a burger with three patties, three slices of cheese and thousand island dressing?

Really? Are you all that stupid?

What really blows my fucking mind is that there is not one book but three, one for fat adults, one for their fat kids and one so that the fat family can figure out that shit with names like Chessy Straws, Pillsbury Big Deluxe Classics White Chunk Macadamia Nut and Butter Bits are not health food. For god sakes, "Big" and "Chunk" don't give you a frigging clue?

Its 2009, if you don't know that ground chuck and peanut butter ice cream sandwiches make your ass big, than you are an idiot. If you need to buy a book that tells you not to eat a banana split with caramel, chocolate and strawberry sauces, whipped cream and three scoops of ice cream from Cold Stone, you should be spending the $24.95 to buy a goalie mask to keep your fork hand from reaching your mouth.

Sorry folk, I don't fell bad for fatties that eat shit all day long, buy books like these and read them while they lay on the damn couch.

I don't.

You're fat because you eat too much, not because you don't know what not to eat. If you really don't know what not to eat, heres a tip:

Try just not eating the crap you have been for the last few years. That should be a good start. Its obviously not good for you.

If you already own this book and you can't see your feet, well I told you.

With all due respect,
The Chief