Is There a Cardiologist in the House?

So my wife totally f#cked up dinner.
It's an unseasonable chilly day in April and my wife and I are discussing what we're going to have for dinner. She's at the store. I'm still at work.
Chili.
What sounds better than that? Chili with Fritos, cheese and diced onions. What a perfect comfort food for a dreary day. Something to look forward to.
15 minutes from home I get the call.
No chili. She swore we had plenty at home so she didn't buy any. She got home to find ONE can. Turkey Chili. So she tells me she made it, added some more beans and tomato sauce and I'm not going to like it.
Long story short. I'm disappointed. I'm not eating that sh!t so we go out.

KFC sounds good. So we go to KFC (Formerly known as Kentucky Fried Chicken because "Fried" has become a bad word).
On our way in my wife points out the newest sensation: The Double Down. She goads me to try one. If it's horrible I can write about it to the idiots who peruse this site.
For those of you who don't know what the Double Down is here you go:


Here's how KFC describes it:
"The new KFC Double Down sandwich is real! This one-of-a-kind sandwich features two thick and juicy boneless white meat chicken filets (Original Recipe® or Grilled), two pieces of bacon, two melted slices of Monterey Jack and pepper jack cheese and Colonel's Sauce. This product is so meaty, there’s no room for a bun! The Double Down comes in two versions – Original Recipe® or Grilled and the nutrition information is below."
CALORIES: 540 FAT (g) 32 SODIUM (mg) 1380

I opt for the Original Recipe version. What the hell...
So I get the "sandwich" and open the box (they conceal it so that you can't see the monster that it is at the counter) and there it is. It's exactly as they describe it. I pick it up take a bite as my wife is grinning and...
it's not that bad. It's what you expect it to be. I take a drink of my Dr. Pepper to wash down the first bite.
So we start eating "dinner" and talk about the day's events and her dork of a boss and I realize I've had three bites and my soda is empty. I've had to drink the whole thing to wash this cumbersome mess down.

Refill drink, attempt to finish "food." I get about half way through this thing and I have to wipe off all of the Colonel's Sauce and I've removed the bacon and cheese. I eat one so-called bun and throw away the rest.

I'm not sure why I ate this f*cking thing but I regret it. I've been eating fairly healthy for the majority of 2010 and I've just consumed over half my calories and ALL of my fat for the day.

Good thing I'm not tracking sodium.

Looks like I need to put in 10 miles on the treadmill.
Right. I'll do that as soon as I get out of the bathroom.


Don't eat this thing. Even if double dares you to double down!
- Darth